Inside Dating in Asia

Making Soldiers Laugh During War Time

Comedian Don Barnhart tells what it takes to make the soldiers laugh in a dangerous setting like a war zone.

My name is Don Barnhart and I am a professional stand up comedian.  What do I mean by 'professional'?  Well, what I mean is that I have been fortunate enough to make a comfortable living travelling the world making people laugh which should answer the follow up question that yes, I actually am very funny.  I've been on a few TV shows and appeared in some movies.  If you're a rabid fan of comedy, you might recognize me as I tour over 250 days a year but I'm not quite up there in the celebrity status the likes of Jim Carrey, Robin Williams or Jerry Seinfeld but I'm right behind them.

Since 1992, I have also tried to spend several weeks a year entertaining the military troops stationed overseas.  I've done this during peacetime and during times of war and everywhere I go people ask what it's like to perform in a dangerous setting like Afghanistan or Iraq so here is my story.

First and foremost, I consider it an honour and privilege to be asked to come over and entertain the troops.  As I said before, I'm extremely fortunate to able to make a living doing what I love and I feel we all have an obligation as an American citizen to support our troops in the best way we know how even if you object to the war itself.

The reason I started doing 'my part' is that it's part of my work-release program and I only have 30 more hours of community service then I'm done! (Just kidding, that was a joke.)  Seriously, the men and women in the military defend America and all of her Freedoms and I'm able to make a great living using those Freedoms.  I also feel it's important to support the troops in any way you know how.  If I knew how to bake cookies, I would do that and send over a care package but I'm much better at telling jokes so I go there and entertain, shake hands and thank the men and women who serve our country.  It's both emotionally and physically tough but there is such an immense sense of pride I feel when I get to do my part and be part of the team.  But honestly, I kinda feel like I'm the least significant person out there.   I kinda feel like the water boy on the super bowl team.

The whole reason I started doing military shows goes back to mid, 1992.   I went through a bitter divorce after I found out my wife was 'dating again'.  (A joke but not really a joke) I took off to Europe to find myself (actually to get as far away as possible from everyone I knew or that knew me and my 'situation').  Anyway, while I was doing shows throughout Sweden I found myself sitting in a cold, dark and gloomy smoke filled café feeling sorry for myself and I looked out the window and noticed a sign for the USO.  I finished my cappuccino and trudged across the snow-lined street and went in.  I starting asking if they would be interested in a comedy show as I had a whole lot of free time and nothing to do so they gave me the main info and I sent in my demo and next thing I know, I'm on a plane heading to war torn Bosnia with the Gin Blossoms and 49 Cheerleaders.

Each show is different and it really depends on who's booking it and for the bigger shows with celebrities and bands they need a lot of lead-time.  For them, it's a much bigger production and the logistics are a nightmare as they have sound equipment, staff, costumes, gear and who knows what else.  For one celebrity, the tour never manifested, as she wanted a four-star hotel and limo for her Afghanistan concert.  She didn't get it.   We're there on a military base in the middle of a war and not on the beach on the French Rivera.  Anyway, she went in to rehab the following month so she never did make the tour. 

For groups like Comics On Duty who specialize in just comedy shows, it's much easier and we can be prepared to go at the drop of a hat but on the average a few months lead time is the best.  With comedy, it's much easier to change venues, add shows and adjust to the constantly changing conditions on the ground.   When it is just comedians, we try to add shows whenever we can on a tour and we try and get out to the troops that really need it the most.  We've added shows in hangers with no sound gear, on flight decks, flat beds, in front of a land-mine field.   It all pretty non-glamorous.

Performing for the troops is different than performing at a regular comedy club in the states and once you've done a few tours, you are bonded with the soldiers and there truly is certain sense of camaraderie and understanding.  Underlying the shows is an awareness that at any second, we might have to scramble and be caught in a firefight.  We might have to run for cover or return fire.   So even though I'm in the middle of a joke, my senses are on full alert.  Once when I was in the middle of show I heard a huge explosion just outside and I dropped to the floor for cover and the crowd roared with laughter, as this was a 'normal' sound to them.  I just about wet my pants but I was now part of the team.   I'm there to get laughs whether it's something I say or something I did, I'm there to entertain.  I don't flinch as much but I'm still fully aware to all the external sounds and surroundings when I'm performing over there.

The reason we come over is to entertain and show our support and to let them know how much we care about them and the job they are doing...how much we respect them and I think they have a certain respect for us coming over there.  We're all in it together as we eat the same food and have to deal with the same amenities.  If there's no hot water, then there is no hot water for everybody and sometimes it's MREs (Meals Ready To Eat) for weeks at a time.

The troops are so accommodating to us and go out of their way to make us feel at home.  We were doing shows in the Persian Gulf and getting choppered from ship to ship and a really bad storm came up and they were going to cancel a show because if we flew in, we would have to overnight on the ship but there was no place to put us up and the guys on the ship offered to give us there cots and they would sleep on the floor just so their ship wouldn't miss getting some entertainment.

The real difference between a so-called 'regular' audience and performing for the troops is that by far, the troops are the best audiences ever.  There really is no comparison.  These men and women are putting their lives on the line each and every day and they don't have time to laugh if it isn't funny.  They're honest in what they like and don't like and that makes you a sharper comic.  In the states, people can go out on a date have dinner and a few drinks and if you don't like the show, you can always leave and go do something else.  When you're entertaining the troops, the show may be the only new thing they get for months at a time so you have to bring your 'A' game and be on top of it.  That's why it so important to bring the best headlining comics and not a bunch of amateurs over here.  To give the troops an inferior product really makes my blood boil.  There are several agencies that are booking comedy shows, pocketing the money then sending really unprofessional and amateur shows over here.  That's why I started booking my own shows and tours.  The comics I use are all headlining comics that you'll see at the top comedy clubs in the nation and on TV.  You won't see them at an open mic night.  You also have to be a headlining act to do well over here as you might have to switch up your act based on the logics and sensitivities of what's going on that day...or you might have to follow a celebrity act Kid Rock or Tim Allen.  After doing so many tours, I also created and host a new TV show called, The Freedom of Speech Comedy Series featuring all the great comics that have come over to do military shows.  It's ironic; when you say Freedom of Speech everything automatically thinks it's a dirty show.  Freedom of Speech also means the freedom of thought and the concept of the show is that we let the comics loose to do whatever they want.  Some might be a bit dirty, some political but the goal is it has to be funny.  The website for the show is www.thechucklehut.com

At first, I really didn't understand the direct and positive impact doing shows for the troops had on their morale.  It's the greatest feeling after a show when everyone is coming up to thank us for entertaining them.  We are there doing our shows to show our gratitude to them!  At the end of one show, the colonel brought all the comics up on stage to present us with a certificate of appreciation and their coin and all the men and women stood up and saluted us in thanks.  It literally brought all four comics to tears.  We couldn't believe how grateful these young men and women were to us for coming over while we were there to show our thanks to them. It's why I keep doing these tours over and over again.

The comedy shows are something to talk about, it breaks up the routine and monotony and laughter truly is the best medicine.  Remember, some of these men and women over here haven't been home in a long time and we're the closest things to being home as we do get to leave.  I truly feel that these men and women are my family and my job is to make them laugh and forget their troubles, sorrows and hardships for a little while.  I've seen the toughest looking soldier laugh so hard he had tears rolling down his checks and after the show, everyone said that guy never even smiles.  He came up after the show and gave me a bear hug that almost broke my rib cage but it was great to see him laughing.

Let's face it.  It's not always easy being away from your family and friends in a war zone.  We all know the dangers and possibilities.  It's sort of an unspoken truth but it also creates and underlying tension and some people have a hard time dealing with it.  On one recent tour, we had a chaplain travel with us and he sat in the front row every show.  It was a bit unsettling at first but then he explained that if the soldiers could see him laughing at even some of the questionable material that maybe he was approachable to their needs and problems and that he was just a regular guy.  It was great because we included him in the show and pointed him out, teased him a bit but letting everyone know him by face.  Sure enough, several days after I got back I received a letter from him telling us what a difference it made and that it really opened up a dialogue of communication for him and some of the soldiers.  We're all a part of the same team.

You might think it's difficult to get laughter from soldiers that are face with war, destruction and horrific conditions but it's not.  As long as you're funny!  Comedy has always been a pressure relief valve and it lets the tension out before you snap.  The more uncomfortable the situation, the more tension there is and the more you need to release that tension before something breaks.  We've all been in those really high-pressure situations.  Even as a child when your parents told you to go to bed and keep quite or you'll be in trouble and then you can't contain your own laughter.   Or on your wedding day when you're about to take your vows and then start crackin' up.  My wife and I both started giggling but that also brought us closer together.   As for entertaining the troops, there is no room for mediocre comics at this point.  It is a tense situation and I've seen really bad comics loose the crowd.   This is why you have to be so picky when putting a show together.  We're grunting it out just like the troops so you can't have any prima-dona entertainers running around crying because they couldn't get their eight hours of sleep and mid-day brunch.

Being funny in an environment that represents the ravages of destruction can be a bit intimidating at first.  I was planning on wearing Depends the first time I came over.  Seriously though, at first it's truly rattling and unsettling but the soldiers go so far out of their way to make you feel at home and after a short while it's time to 'step up'.  If they can be here and live under these difficult conditions, then so can I.  Although, it's not for everybody.  It takes a strong person to be here both as a soldier and a comedian.  There is a lot of pressure but that's why it's so important to be the best at what you do.  It's pretty nerve racking to hear explosions going off when your trying to deliver your punchline or have sirens whaling and planes taking off but you sort of get used to it.  It sure makes going back to the states and auditioning for some big agent a lot easier.  The last audition I had, they commented that I seemed so relaxed and unlike all the other actors.  I told them I just got back from Afghanistan where mortars were going off and there was a missile attack during the middle of my show...and no, they weren't shooting at me because of my act. (laughing)

For the most part, there really isn't any way to research the idiosyncrasies associated with doing shows in 'the field'.  It's sort of a trial by fire and it's hard to explain it to a new comic, as you really just have to do it to understand.   You just immerse yourself into it and figure it out.  The variables are always changing and the only thing you can count on is something is always changing so you have to really be able to roll with it.  Sometimes there's no sound gear or lights, sometimes the audience is standing in 120 degree heat with the sun in their eyes and they can't even see you, sometimes you're wearing your flac jacket and helmet, sometimes you doing a show in a tent for 6 guys that look like they haven't seen a shower or razor or fresh meat in months...it's just really such a unique experience that you have to see it for yourself.  Every tour that I've done there is always something memorable.  Even the comics that have toured overseas have a bond with each other.  Oh, you've been to Afghanistan or Iraq, UAE, Dubai or Saudi?  There is a certain amount of respect we give each other for doing these tours as well.  At the end of the day, we're just a bunch of goofballs who are fortunate to make a living telling jokes but there is a respect among those of us who choose to do these shows.

It's important to be able to edit on the fly and tailor your act to fit your surroundings.  The military are not allowed to discuss certain topics and it's important to know how far you can take a joke.  We've done shows all around the world and each location is different.  The irony here is that America is based on Freedom but with Freedom comes a huge amount of responsibility.  You can talk about anything you want but if you cross the line, you will certainly lose the crowd so you better know what you're doing.  With this in mind, we have to take in consideration that we are invited guests in many countries that are very different than what we are used to and it's important to remember that as a guest, we need to respect the cultural differences and traditions of our host nations. 

It's also important to be very aware of what conflicts are going on within the soldier's lives as well.  Almost any topic is open but with anything tragic, a certain amount of time must pass to be able to 'find the funny' in something.   If something has just happened, it's probably not wise to try and joke about it until some time has passed.  It might be too raw.  Often times we get local dignitaries coming to the shows to see what comedy really is.  I think that's great because so many people are not allowed to speak up and be critical of their government where in America you can talk about our political leaders and make fun of them.  However, if it's not funny, yikes!  The crowd will turn on you.  My rule is, as a guest, you don't go to someone's home and start breaking dishes and kicking their pets and the same is true with comedy.  Know your crowd and be respectful while still pushing the boundaries.

Most of my topics are about my everyday life and I bring a lot of my military tour's experiences into the show, as there's a common bond.   You also have to read the crowd.  Are they young or old, are they the dignitaries or higher ups and you have to call your show as it's going on.  I'm constantly editing in my head.  Did this joke work?   If it did, I'll go to this bit or if it didn't I'll switch it up.   That's where an amateur will get into trouble as he/she only has a small amount of material and they're going to do it whether the crowd likes it or not.  That's why it's so important to get rid of these smaller agencies that are sending what I like to call comedy rejects over here.  They get a contract and then pay some lame ass comic that can't get work in the states a few bucks and the agent pockets the rest.  It's comedic profiteering and it really makes my blood boil.

My material comes out of my life so it's not uncommon for my field experiences to become a part of my regular show.  Crowds at home really want to know what's going on outside what they see on the news.  People come up after every show and want to know all about my tours.  They ask how the troops are and what's it like over there?  They are really concerned and interested in how our soldiers are doing.  I kinda feel like the middleman exchanging pleasantries back and forth.

The logistics of actually getting overseas ranges from the simple to the most complex.

For most tours, we fly the main leg of the trip commercial then it's time to 'soldier up'.   On one trip, our commercial flight had problems and we got diverted to Russia but we couldn't leave the airport for almost twenty-four hours till another plane was ready.  We all felt like Tom Hanks in that movie where he's stranded at the airport.  Once we are 'in country', we are pretty much considered in the military and get to ride like the troops but if there is an emergency, then all personnel and equipment are diverted and we sit on the sidelines till all is secure.  We do get a security briefing, which is much more than a handshake and bottle of water.  They want us to be as prepared as they are in the event of an emergency and depending on the venue the amount of briefing varies.  Let's just say, we're trained and ready for combat should the need arise.  I truly have never felt safer than when I am with the troops.  We've done so many odd venues.  We did a show if front of a land mine field, Saddam's palace, and a coliseum in Greece, on a flatbed, in the mud and in the rain.  The great thing about comedy shows is that we can go almost anywhere unlike a band or another type of group that need instruments, sound gear, lights and more than a few people to pull it off.  I was on one tour that was under lockdown so the band couldn't perform with all their lights and sound so we just did a makeshift show in the dark telling jokes to the soldiers.  With comedy, we can adjust to just about any situation.  We don't need a sound check, just turn on the mic and let's go and if we don't have a mic, then we do it the old fashioned way and project to the back of the room.

As for the unpleasantries of war, I have seen more than I would have ever wanted to that's for sure but it's not nearly as much as the men and women serving our country.   It's not something that I, or most soldiers care to discuss or share.  If you've been there, you know and if you haven't then it's probably best not to ask someone who has been there what they've seen.   War is hell and the details can lead to judgement.  It's hard enough returning home without reliving the horrors.  There is a common sense of what you should and shouldn't do or talk about   We are all a part of the same team so it's important to know your boundaries.   Obviously, you wouldn't want to pull a "Heraldo" by going on the news, draw a map and say, "Look everyone, I'm right here and we're sneaking up on the bad guys".

With that in mind, the first time I went overseas was to Bosnia during some very tough political times.  We were on alert from snipers 24/7.  Much like Hilary but without the publicity.  It really showed me the good and bad side of doing these tours and confirmed for me how important these shows are to the men and women serving our country.  When you're under fire, the mundane annoyance of everyday life really doesn't matter, as you truly have to live in and for the moment.  This is why the troops really get a kick out of the comedy shows.  There is not much laughter and enjoyment in their life during an active war so they cherish what little they have.

Since then, I've tried to do several tours each year.  Some years, I've done seven or eight tours and each one is usually two to three weeks at a time.  One recent tour was thirty days in Afghanistan.  Kinda sounds like the title of a movie or really bad nightmare.  Because of the war, the last few years the tour have been mostly Southwest Asia:  Afghanistan, Saudi, Egypt, Israel, Abu Dubai, Saudi Arabia, UAE, Bahrain, Jordan but I've also done all of Europe, Japan, Iceland, Greenland, Korea, Micronesia...basically, if there are American troops somewhere, I've been there.  At first my wife wasn't always thrilled that I'm heading out to a war zone to tell jokes but she understands and supports me when I do go and wants to do her part as well.  We have several pending tours coming up again throughout the year and she is going to go out on one with me.  She recently starred in the movie thriller China Dolls that I wrote and directed and she (Linda Vu) will go out and host the shows and do a meet and greet autograph session afterwards.   My website has my current schedule and I always try and blog, post pictures of my tours to keep it current.  www.donbarnhart.com

Both my brother and brother-in-law served and my dad was in the reserves so I feel like the military is a big part of my family.  When I do a meet and greet after the show, I always try and find out what the soldiers want to talk about and what's on their mind.   Every once in awhile, you meet someone who really needs a friend.  Sometimes they need to talk and sometimes they just want to be entertained or reminded of home.

People always ask me to describe my act or to tell them a joke.  My act is story driven by punch lines.  Like before I left to go overseas, I had to get vaccinated and they gave me a shot for Anthrax.  Now I can eat worry free at any Taco Bell for the next twenty years...  I grew up in Los Angeles and got fed up with the fake people and pretentious attitude so I moved to Las Vegas.  We were poor growing up and I'm finally glad my mom turned sixty-five because she's been using a fake id to get the senior citizen's discount for years.

One of the greatest thrills is getting feedback from the soldiers.  It's great to take pictures and do handshakes after the shows.  And now with the Internet, Facebook and Myspace, many of the soldiers I meet send me pictures and emails to stay in touch.  I've made so many great friends with the soldiers and I still tour throughout the states and it's so cool when a guy or girl comes up and says that they saw me overseas.  It means they made it home and that brings a smile to my face.

You don't really spend too much time thinking about the security issues or threats.  We get fully briefed so I feel we are ready for whatever comes our way.  I try and stay focused on giving the best show I can no matter the conditions.  Remember, we get to go home in a week or two so no matter how tough we have it as entertainers, the troops have it even tougher and we are here for them.  There's a great saying, if you're looking at the obstacles, your not focused on your goal.  The soldiers make it safe for us to do our jobs.

There really have never been any harrowing experiences or close calls unless getting shot at and having missiles flying all around you is frightening.  I do have some horror stories but it's not something I choose to focus on.   I try and find the funny in it if I can, that's part of being a comic.  There was this one time though.  I guess my worst experience while entertaining overseas was eating some unwashed fruit in Turkey.  We had just started the tour and I couldn't stand for more than a few minutes without having to run to the bathroom but as they say, the show must go on.  We had 3 comics on that tour and I told them to just be ready, as I would do as much time as I could then run off the stage and launch my own weapon of mass destruction.  There was this foul cloud following me around.  I felt like Peg Pen from the Peanuts cartoon.  Anyway, after a few of my sprints, the crowd actually got into it and it became a part of the show.  They were actually timing me as to how long I could stay before sprinting to the bathroom again.  Let me tell you, I'm a pretty physical comic with lots of facial expressions and body movement and it's not easy trying to be funny and squeezing your glutes at the same time.

Once we get on site, we try and work out and stay as fit as possible as these tour are really gruelling.  We might travel 24 hours then have to do a show right away and we want to give our best so being out of shape doesn't help.  We usually do what the troops do.  If they have volleyball, then we're out there sweating it up or if it's movie night, then we chill out an hang with them.

Each tour is different.   If it's a bigger base, we might be there for several days then branch out from there to do satellite shows to the smaller bases or just pop from on location to the next.  It's all based off of what is actually going on that day and whether there is an active battle or security threat.  That's what is so great about producing a comedy show as we can we go to a different base and then circle back later with little set up time unlike a band or bigger production style show.

About Author
If you would like more information about myself or to book a comedy show, please check out our website for more information. http://www.donbarnhart.com http://www.chinadollsmovie.com http://www.thechucklehut.com